Thursday, February 19, 2009

Lane Kiffin Outkicks his Coverage by marrying Layla Kiffin


Knoxville, TN
The UT faithful have a new coach. A really young coach.A "Maverick"....Definately not Phil Fulmer. Some say that is the kick in the pants UT needed, while some would say immature, brash, etc.....
One thing is for sure, Lane Kiffin has definately outkicked his coverage when he hooked up with his wife.
Had he not had the last name "Kiffin", a famous NFL Coach for a father, and got mad money for "on the job training" for the NFL, he would be married someone alot less attractive. And in all honesty, I think she is the driving force behind Lane Kiffin being so cocky. She probably eggs him on behind the scenes, telling him all sorts of crap thats gonna end up getting his team on the field killed vs Florida and Alabama. Probably says things to make Lane jeaulous. More than likely tells him that talking smack turns her on. Hey, cant blame him.....So much to the point to where he lost his freakin mind in front of many UT boosters by implying that Urban Meyer is a cheater, and that Nick Sabans success was all due to soon to be divorced Lance Thompson.
Well, the UT boosters want to curb that behaviour. They wrote a song about it, wanna hear it? Here it go'.....
"LAYLA"
What'll you do when Laney gets fired
And nobody's waiting by your side?
He's been running his mouth much too long.
After Florida, we will get crushed by the Tide..
Layla, Laneys got us on our knees.
Layla, I'm begging, darling please.
Layla, darlin,won't you shut your husbands mouth?
We tried to give him consultation
Before Florida comes and beats us down.
Like a fool, we left it up to you,
Tebow made us look like a bunch of clowns;
Layla, Laneys got us on our knees
Layla, I'm begging,darling please.
Layla, darlin, won't you shut your husbands mouth?
We're writing a check to get out of this situation
We must have really been insane.
Please tell him he won't Coach UT another day,
No other coach has caused us this much pain.
It's all in fun, really. Maybe it will work for UT. First things first, they need a SEC style QB. I know Peyton was the end all, best QB not to win a Heisman in NCAA history or a National Championship, and with that, they really dont have any burners. Its the chicken or the egg thing. I guess WR's dont matter if they dont have a QB to get them the ball. A strong UT program is good for the SEC, and good for football in general. Watching them lose to a UCLA team and Wyoming? That was tuff. Hell we lost to Utah, so I guess one isnt so much different than the other. I like beating UT. I'd like it more if UT were better when we beat them. Beating up on the talent equivalent of a 8th grader when you are a Senior may be fun for a little bit, but it loses its luster, even if the 8th grader had it coming. I dont hate UT. I pull for them in out of conference play. I hated Fulmer. Now I kinda dislike Kiffin. Mainly cause he has a hot wife that he wouldnt normally get if his last name was Smith and his dad was a Pharmacist. And opportunities in college and NFL coaching he normally would not have had since he was a coaches son. Lets be honest, since I have been in youth sports way back when, the coaches son was the bane of all other kids existence. You were expected to be on time, ready to go, in every sport. 'Cept for the Coaches son. Hell, sometimes the coaches son would miss practice for the whole week, and still START on Saturday. Just show up, and boom, he is in the lineup while some other kid was getting their brains beat in during the week of hot ass practices in August. Sometimes the Coaches Son would start shit. Why? Because his dad was the coach, and you were outgunned. He knew if anyone retaliated, the offender would run 20 miles in pads cause the Coaches Son could do no wrong. So if you found yourself in the unique position of being bugged or pestered by the Coaches Son, you better make it count if you want to get even. Yours truly found himself in that position. Since most Coaches Sons play either QB or RB in football or Pitcher or SS in Baseball, one day I found my helmet covered in Fruit Loop stickers, all over my nice white shiny helmet. We had a rule about keeping our helmets clean,etc, and if ya didnt come to Fridays practice with a clean helmet, you had to run about 4 laps in full pads, usually at the end of a scrimmage, bear crawls and wind sprints. I was about 9 yrs old. Coaches son was a little older, but not bigger. He made sure to point out that I had a helmet covered in stickers. His dad, the Coach, the Tiny-Mite version of Bear Bryant, took no excuses when I tried to explain that HIS kid had done it. He told me to shut up and see him after practice, after I ran. So with this little bit of extra motivation looming over my head, I decided to turn up the intensity a little bit going thru the scrimmage, since I played basically a LB/Rover position and his son played QB. The Option was all the rage back in them days, with Alabama running the Wishbone, with the QB usually reading the defense and pitching at the last second. And since we basically played both ways anyway, we knew all the plays the offense was gonna run. My best friend played fullback, who is really a lead blocker for the QB, and so I approached him before the scrimmage and told him to either trip or fall down after getting the fake handoff so I could tee off on the Coaches Son. I think it cost me a Pitfall game from Atari, since bribery always works. It was worth it. After about the 3rd play from scrimmage, the Coaches Son had to be pulled out of the scrimmage for a pinched nerve/headache/breath knocked outta him since basically I blitzed on every play and didnt have to face a blocker. And I knew how to hit. "BrickHead" was my nickname, and even the most feared 12 yr old black players gave me respect. My uncle, who played for Bama back in the early 70's, told me to act crazy at all times, especially during practice. I did, and it worked, although many times I was scared when I was about to get run over, I usually psyched out many stronger RB's. Since at 9 yrs old, acting isnt a second nature, my best friend got caught basically falling down and not blocking even when he was told to, and we ended up running our asses off, laughing the whole way.
And it seems we were stuck with the same coaches throughout our Baseball/Football careers, so we had to deal with the same BS all year round, til we got to high school. Funny thing, most Coaches Sons either washed out over disagreements with real High School Coaches, or werent tough enough to take criticism when they screwed up.
And ironically, most ended up working for their dad in their family business or at whatever Chemical plant their dad worked at.
So basically, I hate Kiffin by default for being a Coaches Son and all that goes with it. And he is UT's young head coach.

5 comments:

Kick'em in the Volz said...

HA! You are jealous of Lane Kiffin.You are really gonna be jealous once we stomp you Bammers back into the cellar of the West!
We got our swagger back!!
Hell we got better recruits with only 10 mins of recruiting time. Just wait til we get a whole season! Paybacks a beotch!

Vol-oRama said...

Are you on crack? UT is back and people dont like it. WE ARE TOO BIG AND ORANGE TO FAIL! Alabama is gonna need a bailout once Saban tucks and runs! The SEC is a whole lot tougher now it has Chizik and Laney and Dan Mullen. I bet Bama dont win 7 games, like LSU did last year with a new QB and we saw how that worked out. You are delusional!

Bama Jamma said...

UT fans, offer up a prayer to God, because your ass belongs to Tebow....

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